OMG, What have i been doing???

[~Lisa~]

Okay, so i tell the kids how dangerous the road is and all and i tell them how dangerous spiders can be and that they can't go out the front alone because someone might take them. Stuff like that.
Last night Chloe woke screaming,.. she had a nightmare, there was a spider on her ear,... Then another one,... She was out the front and the man took her away...


All i have been doing is installing fear in to her. She is three years old, she shouldn't know fear! Am i stealing her innocence by telling her these things? Maybe i am no good at this Mum stuff. :( I am so mean!

[Chan]

I can understand your fear, but I think you're doing the best you can. Honestly, telling kids to stay away from things or not to do things is fine. Explanations are not necessary unless they ask and at three she needs to just listen because you're her mom and not because she needs to have a reasonable explanation for WHY she has to listen to you. Within a couple of years she'll start really needing to know why and then you can tell her, up to a point. Obviously the details you're giving her now are too much for her.

Don't look at her nightmare as proof of failure. Look at it as a guide for how to continue things. You now know to scale back on the reasons for caution.

Just don't ever lie to her, but there's no need to volunteer some info at her age. I hope that helps. That's just my experience. And you are a good mom. If you weren't, you wouldn't have even questioned yourself.

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))

:wub:

[~Lisa~]

Thanks, Chan. :( I dunno. I just get so afraid of our roads and stuff. It's a 50 limit but idiots do over 100k's down it and she is at the age where she wants to be boss. I just thought explaining that is was dangerous out make her see not to do it. I dunno. I think i really need to think more about what i am saying to her and as you said, just tell her she can't do it and that's it. :(

[MaryM]

That's what I was gonna say, too. You don't need to tell her why. She's too young to need to worry about the details....it should just be enough for now to just be told what not to do....the why's can come later.

[~Lisa~]

I feel SOOO mean right now. :(

[MaryM]

That's how we learn.....you didn't know and that's ok....now you do...

[Sasha]

Hi Lisa

I'm really sorry that your little girl had a nightmare and that you feel like you are doing something wrong. I dont have kids but I've been around them a lot. One thing that really stands out from your post is how much you love your kids a bad mother would say ok she had a nightmare but a good mother is saying what can I do to help her how do I a find a blanace between keeping her safe and scaring her. What you are doing asking for help shows what a good mom you are you want the best for you little girl. I think it must be very hard at her age knowing how much to tell her cause Im sure she's asking why she can't do this and maybe giving her a simple answer like the road it dangerous but leaving it at that. You aren't mean you are caring a loving. Your little girl will be fine she has a mom who adores her

:bearhug:

[Elizabeth]

Hun, you're just doing what you need to do to keep the kids safe. Toddler and young kids have very vivid imaginations and nightmares will happen. You just work through and be honest with her. Maybe giver her a special bear to snuggle? My 3 yo has a "get better" bear that we give him when he's not feeling well. It's special because daddy bought it for him when he was very sick as an infant.

[Sally]

Don't be hard on yourself. You are just trying to protect your kids. All kids have bad dreams about things that they are scared of. Tell her what she needs to know to be safe and help her through her bad dreams.

[Chloe]

(((Lisa))) I am so sorry honey, You are definately doing the right thing ((hugs)). Where I used to live it also is supposed to be 50 (all residential streets are 50km in Vic now) but you will get ppl not only doing the old 60km speed limit but ppl doing close to 100k's. Its so dangerous and unfortunately in our world right now we have to let our kids know about these dangers.

I think you are doing an awesome job honey and I really feel for you having to explain to your child how the world truly is now. The thing though is if we dont explain it to them then they will be less safe. You are doing the best you can in the type of world we live in today sweetheart so dont be too hard on yourself ((hugs))

love ya hon!

Chlo xox

[Belinda]

((((LISA))))) i think you are doing the right thing telling them not to do that, lots of kids have nightmares hun, im sorry chloe had one, i dont think your mean though